This year the CRAFT OF WRITING blog is focusing on Aspects of the Novel. So far, we’ve covered Voice with James Scott Bell, Plotting with DiAnn Mills, Antagonists with Debbie Burke, Scenes with Randy Ingermanson, and Emotion with Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. If you missed any of these, you can go to kaydibianca.com/blog and choose the post you want to read.

This month, I’m delighted to welcome first-time guest Larry J. Leech II to the blog. Larry is editor-in-chief of Bold Vision Books and a writing coach to multiple award-winning authors. With more than forty years of writing and editing to his credit, Larry is the perfect professional to talk to us about Dialogue.

So get out your manuscript and get ready to polish that conversation.

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This month we’ll choose one commenter to receive a $10 Amazon gift card, so be sure to join the conversation and earn a chance to win. I’ll post the name of the winner after 9 PM Central Time tomorrow night.

(Previous 2024 winners are not eligible to win.)

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Welcome to the Craft of Writing blog, Larry, and thank you for joining us!

Thank you, Kay, for the opportunity. I’m honored and grateful to share with your readers.

Why is the use of dialogue so important in a novel?

We discover as much, if not more, about a character, through their dialogue. We learn about their level of intelligence, their fears, likes and dislikes, goals, and attitude—in both spoken and internal dialogue.

Is there any “rule of thumb” as to what percentage of a novel should be dialogue? (I’ve read different opinions on this one.)

I believe the story needs to dictate how much dialogue. While we, editors and coaches, like to see a nice balance of prose and dialogue in a novel, putting a percentage or word count on the amount of the dialogue suffocates the creativity. Some characters are chatty. Others can be tightlipped. So, let the characters decide how much dialogue there should be.

How does dialogue bring characters to life?

Individuality. Much has been taught about plot, structure, character arc, etc., but I believe readers love to hear a character speak. First, each character must have a distinctive voice. A fifty-year-old white male should not sound like a twenty-two-year-old female person of color. Even two teenage boys should not sound the same. Each has a backstory and moral center that dictates how they speak.

Think of the cinematic voices we know well. Whenever someone says, “Life is a like a box of chocolates,” we hear Forrest Gump. Or “No, I am your father,” we hear Darth Vader. Or “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” we hear Chief Brody in Jaws.

Also, along with what I mentioned above about the importance of dialogue in story, dialogue also reveals worldview, syntax, and what I call “industry language.” For example, law enforcement and military personnel often say, “I’ve got your six (your back).” A plumber wouldn’t say that.

Along with action, dialogue helps the reader understand the character. And if done effectively, allows the reader to “live” the story instead of reading it.

We’ve all heard the unusual ways authors sometimes substitute words for “said.” (e.g., roared, interjected, whispered.) How important is it to stay away from those?

Readers tend to skip over tags, which are simply a placeholder for those who have spoken. I teach my clients that “said” is preferred (even for the word ‘asked’ with some publishers), but action is preferred over said. People move while they talk. But in many early drafts, I see a lack of action while the characters talk. The characters either feel like they are floating around in space because of lack of setting or if they are anchored in a scene, they sit on their hands and talk with each other.

What are some of the other pitfalls writers fall into when writing dialogue?

Great question. The number one pitfall I see is tone after dialogue. If the tone is after the dialogue, the reader doesn’t read with the intended tone. For example: “I hate you,” she said angrily. But by putting the tone before the dialogue, we read with the intended tone. But tone can be substituted with action. For example: She slammed her fist on the table. “I hate you.” Or She giggled. “I hate you.” In each example, we know “she” is mad and being playful.

Second, I often see is the dialogue doesn’t fit the character. A sixty-year-old writing YA usually doesn’t have the language and mindset correct for the characters. The same can be said when someone writes outside their ethnicity or culture. Even if the author has done a lot of research, I encourage them to find someone in that age group, ethnicity, or culture to read for accuracy in the dialogue.

Third, direct address in two-person dialogue is not needed. It’s a waste of words. Remember, projects are based on word count, not page count. An acquisition editor or agent will ask, “How many words is your manuscript?” They don’t ask “How many pages?” So, don’t waste words on unnecessary direct address in dialogue. But, and often there is an exception, direct address between a parent and child can be acceptable.

Fourth, I didn’t think I would spend so much time on this question, most new writers like to include greetings for answering the door or a phone call. Again, wasted words and bogs down the reader. The example I use of how to avoid comes from a Richard Castle novel. Unfortunately, I can’t remember which one. In this scene, the characters Jameson Rook and Nikki Heat meet Rooks’s mother’s at a restaurant. Instead of writing out all the greetings, the author wrote: After hugs and hellos, … In an instant, we see and hear the greetings between the three characters without reading the words.

What is a good way to handle internal dialogue? 

Because most publishers I work with don’t want internal dialogue in italics or inside quote marks, action before internal dialogue will set up the internal dialogue. For example, I gave her a sideways glance and smirked. “I hate her.” Obviously, the speaker is talking about someone else, and that looks like spoken dialogue. Without the quote marks, we know it’s internal dialogue.

How should a writer approach using dialect?

Some say writing in dialect is like walking a tightrope. The author can turn away readers with too much or oversimplify, which will ruin the impact of the dialect. First, research is important—using the internet, reading books with that dialect, or, if possible, interviewing people who speak in the intended dialect. Second, use sparingly. Don’t overwhelm the reader. Third, as with all dialogue, the dialect should serve the story and, of course, the character.

What tips can you give us for writing great dialogue?

Avoid long sentences of explanation. Short sentences and fragments can be a writer’s best friend. Dialogue should be short, snappy, and have tension. Long: “Well, what color dress do you think would be appropriate for a first date with a man I just met online and know little to nothing about?” Short: “Would a blue dress be appropriate? I don’t really know him. We met online. It’s our first date.”

Also, large chunks of dialogue often feel like an info dump. I’ve seen manuscripts with dialogue that tops 150 words. While I don’t like a restriction on word count, that much dialogue will fill up most of a printed page and create a gray blob on the page. To fix that problem, to make the dialogue feel more organic, first make sure every bit of information is needed. Then break it apart with interaction with another character and with action as well.

Where can we find out more about you and your work?

Readers can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and my website, which is in the process of being redesigned.

Thank you, Larry, for being with us today.

Thank you again, Kay. I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to share.

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Meet Larry J. Leech II

Editor-in-Chief at Bold Vision Books and writing coach of award-winning authors, Larry J. Leech II has spent more than forty years writing and editing. He started his career as a sportswriter in southwestern Pennsylvania where he covered prep, college, and pro sports, including the Pittsburgh Pirates and Steelers.

In 2004, after 2,300 published articles, Larry moved into the book publishing industry. Since that time, he has ghostwritten 31 books, edited more than 450 manuscripts, and coached hundreds of authors through the writing and publication process. You can find him online on Facebook, Instagram, and his website.

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The latest novel from Kay:

Private pilot Cassie Deakin has plenty to say about her teammate, Deputy Sheriff Frank White in Lacey’s Star: A Lady Pilot-in-Command Novel.

Available at  Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, or Apple Books.